I Purchase and Collect Pictures of Men
(not that there’s anything wrong with that)
First of all, let me set the record straight. I am a very happily married man. My wife is friggin’ gorgeous. I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem is, I’m dividing my time between my amazing wife and all of these other men who are all between 2.5" and 3.5" in length (or width–depending on how you measure them). Don’t get me wrong, peeps. I have friends of all different sizes, shapes, colors, genders, religions, sexual orientations, and income brackets. For some reason, though, I have a hard time coming out of the cardboard closet.
Why does this hobby have to make it so hard? Sure, it’s okay for little kids to get their parents to buy photographs of mustachioed men in tight uniforms, but once a full grown adult male does that for himself, it’s embarrassing. Why must I feel too ashamed to embrace my passion? It’s almost as bad as coming clean about the enjoyment of watching heavily oiled up men rolling around together in their underwear and calling it entertainment. *sheepishly avoids topic*
I only feel comfortable amongst my own kind. When talking with collectors like myself, I don’t feel like some sort of pervert when we discuss Albert Pujols’ latest crouching pose, nor do I feel like some sort of outcast when talking about how Billy Ripken got his Fleer nickname. However, when even approaching the subject with anyone else, I clam up and suddenly seem to flame the hobby.
So, to you the collector; with boxes, attics, drawers, books, shelves, even stores full of these pictures of men; are you in the cardboard closet or are you out? Are you too shy to talk about your hobby with others who may or may not share your interest?
If you are out, have you always been, or did you have a moment of clarity when it seemed it was time to let the world know who you are? If the latter, describe that moment. If the former, have you always had pride in your predilection towards your collection of dudes on cardboard, or has it never occurred to you to be a big deal?
Of course, in writing this, I may have inadvertently assumed that all of you are males. Of course, you female collectors may have a completely different reason for collecting cards than we men. Take Marie and Sooz over at A Cardboard Problem, for example. They are two ladies not afraid to show off their rainbow of cardboard colors.
If you are still in the closet, what do you think it will take to get you out? Do you think you will ever come out? What is so embarrassing about the hobby that people like you and I can’t even broach the subject with non-collectors?
Don’t fret, you timid collectors. There is some light at the end of your deep, dark tunnel. If you’re too afraid to reveal your taste in man pix, perhaps you won’t be scared away by a set of Benchwarmers.
Hopefully you readers can inject this probing topic with some major insight and perhaps fill in some gaping holes. Until then, I’ll be organizing our parade.
